touch meme || accepting!
he told himself he’d never be weak enough to imagine what dorian’s mouth would feel like against his. told himself he’d never think about where dorian’s hands would fall, how he’d pull the other man close, how he’d taste–
but he didn’t think it would be like this. one hand tangled in his collar, the other gripping his hip tight enough to border on painful. he didn’t imagine it would be in a room filled with magisters, gazes feeling like oil slicks on his skin. didn’t imagine it would only be to further his image as dorian’s boy toy, the pretty slave that hangs off the magister’s arm.
it doesn’t stop the way he pushes into it with a soft noise, the way his eyes fall shut and he relaxes completely, body very nearly only held up by dorian’s hands on him.
he feels WEAK. disgusted with himself. how can he LIKE this, knowing where they are, what everyone thinks he is?? panicked thoughts swirl in his head and he can feel his heart thundering against his ribs.
dorian pulls back, though his hands don’t leave krem, and the smaller man gives him a wide-eyed, terrified look.
❛ are you thirsty, sir?? i could fetch you something to drink. white wine, perhaps. ❜ it takes everything in him not to stay in character even though his thoughts SCREAM at him to bolt.
out, out, OUT. I NEED OUT